Causes of Anxiety - Why is my child anxious?
Parents of anxious children often wonder what the cause was of their child’s anxiety in the first place and whether it might be their fault. They often blame themselves and tend to make assumptions about what they have done wrong and try and look back on their parenting for any mistakes they may have made.
Although no one knows the exact reason why some children are more anxious than others, there is never one single thing that causes anxiety. Researchers believe that it is likely a number of different reasons combine together to cause anxiety in children and teenagers.
1. Genes and Temperament
Anxiety tends to run in families. Children who are anxious often identify at least one parent who in either has significant problems with anxiety or has a tendency to worry more than the average person. This is much more likely to be seen in children who have high levels of anxiety than those who experience normal worries.
Research has shown that what is passed onto children through their parents’ genes is a personality that is more emotionally sensitive than others. We know that children inherit hair and eye colour from their parents, well they also inherit how emotionally sensitive they are. You may have noticed that being emotionally sensitive means that anxious children can be much more caring and considerate towards others. However, alongside this it can also lead them have a tendency to be more fearful and prone to worrying more excessively than their peers. We cannot control what we inherit from our parents but we can control the impact it may have on our lives.
2. Environmental - Family Behaviours
Watching others
We know that children learn how to interact with the world by watching and copying their parents. This includes the way we as parents deal with our own anxious feelings. If a parent avoids a situation that makes them anxious, then their child will learn this is the best way to handle anxiety. Remember as stated earlier, there is no one cause of your child’s anxiety.
Different coping styles
Similarly, as parents we love our children and want to rush in and protect them when they are scared or worried. Although we mean well, we can in fact allow the child to avoid facing their fear by acting in a very protective way. This can be especially true if the parent is also anxious, as this makes them more likely to anticipate potential danger so rush in and help even when it isn’t necessary. The child may then believe that they cannot cope without your help and that the outside world is dangerous place. This is just some things that an anxious child may pick up on and could strength their already anxious tendencies, so it is helpful to hold them in mind.
Other family factors
Other family factors related to a child’s anxiety include; that it creates a problem that holds the family together, particularly for example if parents are separating; or it gives the child ‘special time’ with a parent in a busy household with other siblings, for example at bedtime, which can occur in the case of separation anxiety.
3. Life Stressors
As stated earlier, there is not always a clear trigger for anxiety. However in some cases, stressful life events can be a trigger that causes increased anxiety. For example, starting a new school, a bereavement, moving house, bullying, parental separation, adapting to a new sibling, parents arguing, illness, learning problems or a specific frightening incident i.e. being bitten by a dog. Whilst most children would experience some kind of emotional response these natural life stressors, they are likely to have a greater effect on anxious children who are already more emotionally sensitive. Although these will not always have happened to an anxious child, it is important to consider if they have had an impact on triggering anxiety in your child.
4. Neurodevelopmental Factors
Children who have neurodevelopmental diagnoses such as Autistic Spectrum Disorder (ASD) or sensory processing issues may be more likely than their peers to experience anxiety. This is because their physical and emotional systems often get over stimulated with sensory overload in their home or school environment. These children may also struggle with brain flexibility and being adaptable so if for example, something doesn't go to plan or they have to cope with last minute changes. In these instances they may become overwhelmed and display signs of anxiety.
So as stated earlier, there are no easy answers to explain why your child has become so anxious that it is impacting on their daily lives. It is result of their genetics and life experiences so far. It is more important to think about ways to help your child by trying to get a good understanding of their anxiety and what is keeping it going so as to find the best practical strategies to help them.
